Every year on my anniversary, Netta says I should write down my thoughts on what makes a successful marriage and I always roll my eyes and chuckle to myself. What would I know? We’ve only been married now for 17 years. We were mere children when we got married, and even when we had our kids. We can fight like cats and dogs. Who am I to provide advice to others on a successful marriage?
And so, I won’t. I won’t tell you steps you must undertake or give you the secret sauce. Because I don’t think there is an easy way to have a successful marriage. Or a single path. Guy and I have fun together. Not all the time, certainly (did I mention the fighting like cats and dogs?). But most days we can still make each other laugh. When something good, or bad, happens, there are only a handful of people I think of calling, and he’s always at the top of that list. Ok...sometimes he’s near the top. A girl needs her sisters and her mom! Perhaps most importantly, I never question his motives. I know he always has my, our children’s, and our family’s best interests at heart. Our goals are aligned and we’re true partners.
That final statement is an interesting one. I don’t always consider us 50/50 partners. This isn’t something we ever discussed, but I consider Guy’s main job to provide for the family and handle the finances, and I consider my main role to keep the home and the children in order. We both work full time, there have been times when we’ve made the same salaries, but I’ve never considered my role to be the breadwinner. We’ve never been in competition, and that’s what I mean by true partners. Guy supports my career, nurtures my relationships with my family, and even (begrudgingly, at times) contributes to JEWishly’s success. In return, I let him ball boy at the US Open and ignore his sneaker addiction.
The other night, Michal asked if I had a modem interpretation of the Sheva Brachot, the Seven Blessings. The Seven Blessings are traditionally shared at Jewish wedding ceremonies and are adapted from ancient rabbinic teachings, beginning with the blessing over the wine and ending with a communal expression of joy. The blessings are about the creation of the world, the creation of humankind, the unity of loving people, and the joy of marriage. With the Internet, there is now abundant opportunity to make the blessings personalized, so rather than sharing the Hebrew and translation, I’ll simply share the categories I shared with her.
A loving home.
Humor and play.
Art, beauty, creativity.
If you and your partner can thrive in these areas, you will have a successful marriage. But how you get there should be your own journey, paved with your partner, family, and community by
Enjoy the path ❤