I look Jewish. Of the three girls, I'm the one who always gets told that. I have the curly (frizzy) hair and the "pronounced" (read: large) nose. I'm also the shortest and fattest of the girls. #blessed
I've never cared. That's not true, actually. I take pride in it. I've never been one to hide who I am. I am a Jew. Before all else. I mother as a Jew, I wife as a Jew, I daughter as a Jew, I sister as a Jew, I work as a Jew, I friend as a Jew, I live as a Jew. I've never been one to blend in. In Israel they consider me American. In America, an Israeli. People always tell me I resemble someone they know. My standard answer to that? "She sounds beautiful!"
There was a time I wanted a nose job. There are still times I kick the idea around. My father's rule was that I had to embrace who I was and what I looked like before I could consider changing it. Otherwise, he claimed, I'd never be happy. No man was better prepared to father three girls than my father. So while I still sometimes consider the idea, it's never a priority and I always find something I'd rather do with that money.
I'm also a wash and go girl. I wash my hair, towel dry it, put in a drop of conditioner, and go. No muss no fuss. In the winter, it's a great strategy. In the spring, it's iffy, at best. During the summer, I look like your crazy aunt, Bertha, who you pray doesn't show up to family simchas. My hair has no curl in July. I wish that were an exaggeration. I rocked the frizz for years until I learned of keratin. Now, I place myself in the chair once a year, in June, and let the magic take control. I'm not looking for silky, straight hair. I'm simply looking for semblance of control. This year I even opted for shoulder-length hair. Imagine if I attempted that sans keratin...I'd look like a mushroom. Hopefully the length grows at a faster rate than my hair’s regular texture and frizz.
I’ve wondered if I’m hypocritical, or not being true to myself, for acting like a martyr for keeping my Jewish nose while happily changing the texture of my hair. But the hair seems so temporary, that I can live with my hypocrisy. Plus, I’m pretty sure that no one is mistaking me for another ethnicity because my hair is less frizzy. So I’ll enjoy looking like a less-crazy version of myself for a while, which still feels authentically me, and continue to avoid profile pictures.